Before doing BUP for a second time around I told myself that I would do things differently from last year. I wanted to be more open to my team by not shutting myself off. I wanted to have less bad days than good days. I wanted this experience to make my future more transparent. I wanted and expected a lot of things from myself. Although it only has been a couple weeks I realized the expectations I set for myself weren’t realistic. I expected the change within myself to happen quickly since I was aware of my inner conflicts. Although I was aware, I was still miserable. I realized that no matter how much I try to not have bad days they are going to happen regardless.
Right now I’m a work in progress. I try to be more open-minded with my new community as well as with my fellow interns by being honest with them and myself. Although this is my second time doing BUP I’m still learning new things about the Mount Clare area. I thought that I was going to excuse myself from some the activities due to similarity, but I have participated in every activity. Although there is some familiarity there was one unexpected event that we attended early on in our internship.
Two days into our internship eight-year-old Amirah Kinlaw was struck and killed by a stolen vehicle. The neighborhood held a vigil in her honor and as a team we thought it would be best if we went. Being from the city vigils aren’t usually public. They’re usually meant for close family and friends. Amirah’s vigil was public and was open for anyone to attend, which made us attending a privilege.
Even though none of us knew Amirah personally we were still deeply saddened and affected by the tragedy. Attending the vigil made me feel closer to this community after only being there for two days than living in my own community for twenty-one years.
As a resolution for being negative, I decided to write one positive event that happens to me each week.
Positive Event #1: Taking a selfie with Evie. Working in the nursery during VBS!!