Learning in the midst of frustration

By Naeisha Palmer

Part 1:

So many of the Buppers (our nickname for people doing the Baltimore Urban Program), have written very extensive blog posts that will really get you thinking. I want everyone to continue to ponder on the topics that we have brought up. So this week I am asking you to do something different; instead of reading our blog posts, I am asking you to step out of your comfort zone and respond to this post! Don’t worry what I am going to ask you to do isn’t that scary.

I would like you to comment  below with your first name/organization name, and who you know doing BUP. If you are just reading because of interest say that! Additionally this is a great time to ask us any questions you have!

If you currently feel swindled out of a blog post then you may keep reading. I cant promise you a deeply thought provoking post though.

Part 2:

Expectation: Find what has been touching my heart in order to write an amazing blog post that will make everyone love the city want to help.

Reality: A unsolicited “overly friendly” neighbor has dampened my mood.

We are all okay! No worries! Your prayers for safety, understanding, and discernment are still needed daily. For me, it was so ironic because my dad was just telling me that although I may feel more comfortable here, that it doesn’t make it a safer or better place. The problems that existed before I came to Baltimore are still here, the people, personalities, drug abuse, and other things that torment them are still alive and well.

So what does this mean though! What is the point of this blog post!! HOW DO I END THIS BLOG POST!!!!!

Ahhh! Frustration!

Also, I would like to point out it is hard to write a blog post when you are frustrated.

Part 3:

All I can think to do in this moment is pray. I wasn’t really sure what to do when this man approached us sitting on the stoop. So here are some words I need to lift up to Jesus. I’m realizing that sometimes interactions like this are just the reality of living in the city and that Jesus is at work in the brokenness.

Dear God,

I don’t understand what I am supposed to be learning from what just happened. I don’t understand why I needed to go through an almost traumatizing and degrading event. I don’t understand why you let me feel powerless in that situation. I don’t understand why I froze, why I couldn’t bring the situation back to you, or why I feel so offended over a drunk man’s babblings. Maybe because this is the second time I have had an interaction like this. Maybe I am frustrated because the first time, when I was praying at the church with a different man during vacation bible school I expected you to turn his life around immediately. I believe you could’ve done it then. I still believe that you can do it. I guess I don’t understand why you didn’t. I also don’t understand why you didn’t give me the words or actions in this situation. I mean I guess you gave me better actions than I would’ve created on my own.  All I can imagine saying or doing wouldn’t have reflected you. So I guess…. thank you??

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Part 4:

Here are some pictures of the people in the program. Some of the children we work with, and some of the area. The purpose is so that you can have a visual instead of only words and your imagination. Now you have faces to pray about.

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Naeisha’s class at the Joyful Journey Day Camp

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Two of Naeisha’s (middle) campers at the playground

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Naeisha outside of Clay Pots, a neighborhood coffee house

 Part 5:

Wow you are still reading? Thank you! Since I still don’t have anything profound to say I will just end with words directly from God. I will open the bible to a random passage and let God do all the concluding.

Remember this, my dear brothers and sisters: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, (slow to take offense,) and should not get angry easily. An angry person doesn’t do what God approves of. (For man’s anger does not promote the righteousness God wishes and requires) So get rid of all immoral behavior and all the wicked things you do. Humbly accept the word that God has placed in you. This word can save you.

James 1:19-21 (God’s Word Translation (with Amplified Bible Translation in parenthesis))

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